Tell her she can't have a vagina
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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