Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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