Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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