Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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