I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
