he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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