does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
