if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
