im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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