Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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