And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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