bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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