i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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