I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
