Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
