She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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