Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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