so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
