Michael Bay diarrhea
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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