sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
