Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
