The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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