that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
