"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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