i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
