That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
