Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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