i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
