dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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