thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
