found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
