But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I booty called her while she was in labor.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
