...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
