I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
