hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
