Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
