you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize