Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
