Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
