I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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