I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize