I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
