I'm drive I can fine osifer
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize