no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
