dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
