I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize