I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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