So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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