She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
