Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
