like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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