I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
