Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
