2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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