So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
