In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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