he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
