butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
