her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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