remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize