Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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