and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
