Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
