Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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