The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
