Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
