everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize