break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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