Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Your penis caused this!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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