toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
