This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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