I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
