so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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