:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
