i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How does one acquire holy water?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
