I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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