This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
