i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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