Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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