3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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