DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
