We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
